Scott’s Blog

Proverbs 16:9 says this: We can make our plans,but the Lord determines our steps. It’s one of those understatement passages. You know what I mean by that, it is so obvious that it almost goes without saying. There is, however a problem with understatement passages… we usually don’t live like they’re so obvious, at least I don’t.

Let me explain. I admit I can go a bit overboard with planning. I plan my day very carefully. I know how long it will take to do the tasks that I have to do and I work out ahead of time how that should go. Even though the plan often goes awry it makes me feel organized and in control. That in control part is the problem.

Christmas week is busy and this Christmas week was busier. We had our normal duties, but we also had extra Christmas services and a funeral. Given the holiday we had less time to do more. A planners perfect storm!

Last weekend, on two successive morning’s I woke up with pain in my back. I didn’t think much of it and it went away. On Christmas morning the pain returned, more severe and lasting a bit longer, but still, it went away after a bit. I began to think I might have a kidney stone. We enjoyed Christmas as a family, I went to work on Wednesday and everything seemed fine. On Thursday morning I was in my office at about 5:00 AM working on a funeral message for a very special funeral coming up on Friday. At 5:15 our elders met for our weekly accountability and prayer time. I had the pain again, fairly severe, but nothing that would stop my plans. I shared with the guys and we prayed. As we prayed the pain got worse. As everyone left to go about their day I returned to my keyboard to write. I couldn’t. The pain was too intense to concentrate. I thought perhaps if I walked around a bit, but that didn’t help either. I was frustrated because I had some appointments and I needed to get the writing finished before the appointments. No way. By 7:30 I was in the car on my way to the emergency room. By 8:00 I had blood drawn, was waiting for a CAT scan, and was enjoying the wonderful euphoria of greatly reduced pain thanks to an IV in my hand. Sure enough the CAT scan revealed a stone that was only beginning to make it’s journey. The urologist told me that we’d give it a week to pass on its own, then schedule some other things to intervene if necessary. He told me he’d give me medicine that would take the edge off the pain and we’d just wait. “You’ll have to hold your schedule loosely, because when the pain comes you really won’t be able to do anything.” He was right about that. I spent the next day and a half in a drug induced stupor, walking around when I needed to, just hoping the whole thing would go away. Dave, Nikki and Colleen managed the funeral without me, and as I sit here typing, Dave is preaching and I’m just waiting. The episodes of pain are very far apart now, and I’m not drugged very much. I’m told the stone could be “stuck somewhere” or perhaps even that it is breaking up on its own (that would be nice). On Thursday they’ll take another picture and we’ll go from there. Kidney stones are no big deal. They aren’t really dangerous, they hurt a whole lot but for the most they are mostly inconvenient.

What bugs me is the truth of Proverbs 16:9. I’m happy to have the Lord derail my plans. He owns me and he can do anything he wants with me. What bothers me is that I keep trying to manage how the Lord derails my plans. I keep trying to manage because I’m proud. I don’t want to take sick time. I don’t want to let the staff down and cause extra work. I don’t want Dave to have to add sermon prep and delivery to his already too busy schedule because I’m too weak to do it. What I’m learning from a kidney stone is not that I need to plan less. I’m learning that I need to manage my image less. I’m learning I’m a pretty proud guy who draws too much personal worth from doing his job and not enough from just being who I am in Christ for His glory.

If I’ve said it once, I’m sure I’ve said it a thousand times. You can try and impress people with you, or you can impress them with the Jesus in you, but you can never do both.  

I wish I’d learn that already.

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If you’re in the church world you spend a lot of time listening to guys like me talk. In fact, if you attend regularly, even just one service a week, you spend more than a work week every year listening to sermons. Why?

We normally come with a different agenda than God. God expects that his Word will lead to transformation, we usually hope it will comfort and encourage us. One of the things that I enjoy about my life is interacting with people about what God does in their lives through His Word delivered through the talks I give.

One example of how God works in helping us look at our own lives in respect to his Word came to me from one of our leading believers via email. I received permission to share it with you…

Your last two sermons on Heaven brought to mind something that I have thought in the past. When we have worked in the medical clinics of Honduras we always marveled at the Peace we saw and felt in the people who had come to us for care. They really had very little. They were stick thin because they normally had so little to eat, often going days between meals. The clothing they were wearing were usually tattered and well used. Many had conditions that could be helped with something as simple as Aspirin or cough medicine but they had no hope of ever being able to buy such items. For those that have not actually seen such conditions, there is no way you can understand or wrap your mind around the troubles these people had. As the years passed and our travels to the clinics began to have locations repeated we often would see the same people. Their appearance aged dramatically beyond their actual years yet, the peace and hope they held remained each time. In some cases they just refused to allow themselves to think that their condition remained unchanged with the passage of time.

In addition to being a great example of what to do with a sermon, there is a great deal of wisdom in this email! I hope you’ll be transformed by it.

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I had decided that I would not write any more about fasting, thinking that perhaps two posts was enough. However, I received some encouragement from someone I respect to finish what I started here so I will write one more post about my most recent experience fasting.

I ended my fast on Thursday morning during my weekly breakfast meeting with Dave Ney.  Oatmeal and fruit never tasted so good! Overall this fast lasted about 80 hours or so. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. Eating in our culture has a lot more to do with the clock than our need for food. It is hard for me to not eat, when I know I would normally be eating. Then there is the whole thing of finding a functional way to deal with stress rather than through eating which is my norm. Physically, for the most part, I was not that hungry.

Once again my experience with fasting was very positive. Fasting from food forces me to eliminate the most dysfunctional part of my life. In doing that I am much more free to focus my passions where they should be, on my moment by moment walk with Jesus. In fact, I would say that I substitute food for God pretty regularly. That is blatant sin on my part.

I find myself looking forward to the next time, probably soon, that I will fast. This may sound weird, but fasting adds peace to my life because it eliminates the pressure of deciding what or how much I will eat. With that pressure gone, I’m free to focus and God meets me in that new found focus. I thought I would be more irritable as the fast wore on, but that was not the case. In fact, I became more relaxed. I found myself not only not very concerned about food, but I was less drawn to the TV and news magazines as well. My whole focus moved upward and that was pretty cool as I was enjoying my time with God.

The Bible has a lot to say about fasting and I’d encourage you to investigate if perhaps fasting might be a good experience for you. In the blog roll to the right of this page you’ll find a link to Desiring God ministries. If you search “fasting” there you’ll find some great biblical guidance. One thing though. Fasting from food is very beneficial for me because I’m dysfunctional in that area. Fasting for you may not be a food issue. Maybe for you fasting should be a break from the media, including the internet. Perhaps a fast from shopping or spending money. Generally if you fast from that thing that you use to make you feel better when you’re stressed you’ll be forced to go to God and you’ll find that God is so much better!

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There was a great question asked in response to the first post on fasting and I’d encourage you to check that out. As I write it’s about 6:00 AM on Wednesday…. that means about two and a half days of fasting so far. While I go through periods of being hungry, I can’t really say that physical hunger is the main struggle in fasting. Emotional hunger is. I want to eat, not because my body is really hungry but because I love to eat. When I’m fasting I’m amazed at the number of TV commercials about food and how much my typical daily life revolves around food. Food is an enjoyable gift from God that is a secondary pleasure, it is intended to sustain our bodies. Food is not intended to be a medication for stress, which is how I often use it. In fasting, I have no choice but to go to God with my stresses. What I’m learning is that God is infinitely more satisfying than food. As I said in an earlier post, fasting tends to move my affections from the superficial noise of life, to the deeply sustaining joy of fellowship with God. 

This is the first time that I’ve fasted during this holiday time of year. I thought it would be especially hard, but I was wrong. It is especially fruitful. I’m finding an increased appreciation for the incredible gift of Jesus at Christmas. I’m amazed at how God can use something so simple to deaden the noise of life in a such a way that he becomes more consuming. 

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For most of my life fasting was not a part of my walk with God. In the church I grew up in fasting was something from the Old Testament. Over the past couple of years I’ve come to realize that fasting can be very much a part of our experience with God today.

Bren was the first one in our family to start fasting. After learning from her I started fasting occasionally a day at a time. For some time I fasted one day a week. When that became routine I just tried to listen for when I felt led to fast. More recently I felt like God was asking me to fast for a longer period of time. So today I’m starting a fast that I think will go for three days. I’m going to blog about my experience in the hope that God will use my experience to open more of our family to fasting.

Biblically there are a number of reasons to fast:

1. For Jesus to Come Back: Matthew 9:14-15

2. For Help in a New Venture in Ministry: Matthew 4:1-2; Acts 13:3

3. To Avert Some Danger or Threat: Ezra 8:21; 2 Samuel 12:16

4. To Express Sorrow and Loss: 2 Samuel 1:12; 1 Chronicles 10:12

5. To Express Repentance and Grief for Sin: Joel 2:12-13

6. Not for the Praise of Men: Matthew 6:16-18

Fasting for me tends to help align my heart with God’s heart. I’m a very dysfunctional eater. I struggle with gluttony and I tend to eat when I’m stressed. Fasting from food is one way for me to move my affections away from a key battle area in my life toward my relationship with God. When I’m fasting I tend to hear from God better. My heart breaks for the things that break God’s heart. I tend to be more discerning of evil and sin. My affections for temporary, earthly things, not just food, lessen.

As I type it is approaching 8:00Pm. I started my fast last night around 9:00. Today I had a few cups of coffee and tea and plenty of water. I also had about a teaspoon of peanut butter. For most of the day I was not very hungry. When I came home from the office and Bren was making dinner, I got very hungry. We eat together so even when I’m fasting I sit with our family (which also encourages conversation about fasting with my sons). In just over a week we will host our elders for the annual elder Christmas party. That means Bren is on day two of baking like crazy. The stuff she makes for that party is over the top! The aroma in the house is delightful and the boys are sampling the good stuff. All of that makes me hungry. But really, hunger just isn’t a big deal. I’m learning to change my focus from what I’m forgoing, to what I’m gaining.  Deeper fellowship with Jesus is far sweeter than the molasses cookies that are coming out of the oven.

Why not investigate fasting for yourself.

Let me add one caution. Some people shouldn’t fast. Make sure you’re physically able to go without food. If you must eat regularly, perhaps fasting from something else will have the same effect for you that fasting from food has for me.

I’ll write more tomorrow….

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