Scott’s Blog

That sounds like a weird title for a blog when I talk so much about trust and the fact that all leadership is based on trust, which I still believe is true. However, we live in a culture that is justifiably cynical. Last week the New York Governor, the guy who based his reputation on cleaning up corruption, lost his seat because he had a habit of spending tremendous amounts of money on prostitutes. I read with interest about the Lt. Governor who was to take his place. David Patterson was a bright, energetic leader who overcame blindness to rise to the cream of the political crop. However, he hasn’t been in office a week yet and is already admitting that he has had affairs with several women. Sheesh. Then there is the former Governor of New Jersey who is making the news today because he and his male partner are sharing public details of their sexual trysts which they say included the Governors former wife.

No wonder we’ve become a cynical culture. Evangelical leaders fall regularly, political leaders fall what seems like all the time. Really it shouldn’t surprise us. People are fallen and will do any and everything they shouldn’t. Expect it.

When I was working with Bernie May at The Seed Company he was working with our Board of Directors on a transition plan to find his replacement. I remember the Board asking at one point if he trusted them. Very respectfully he said that he didn’t trust them. However, he DID trust God, and The Seed Company belonged to Him.

That made an impact on me and I’ve made changes in how I view leaders since then. I don’t have high expectations of people because they’re people. I appreciate them and I love when God does neat things through them. However, when they fail or fall, I’m not surprised or shaken because fallen people will do fallen things.

Don’t expect people to be more than people. Help your kids understand that because they’re going to see a lot of influential people fall. However, the great news is that you can expect God to be all God. He will never change and will always be faithful. That is really good news.

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Today is the day that Jake leaves to begin his Navy career. An officer will be coming to the house this afternoon to take him to boot camp. It’s tough to say good-bye. A little snippet from my journal this morning says this: “I have a weird mix of feelings. I’m excited for him. He needs to leave and build his own life and that is a good thing. Yet, sometimes I look at him and see the boy that grew up with us. Other times I see the man that has become my friend that won’t be around very much any more. Sometimes I get very sad, other times I’m proud. I  guess that is the way its supposed to be.”  Like a lot families we’ve been very close. The moving around we’ve done and our time in Mexico brought us together in a way that is hard to describe. It’s not unusual for us to sit at the dinner table for an hour or two after we’ve finished eating just talking and laughing. It’s been great. This process isn’t entirely new to us. Jake moved to

It has occurred to me over these last several weeks that while Bren and I certainly messed up a lot in our parenting, we did get at least one thing right. We were honest with the boys that the day by day nature of our relationship with them is temporary. The permanent relationship in our house is between Bren and I. Parenting is not about all the things that tend to consume our energy while the kids are home. Parenting is about launching. Parenting is an outcome based process. The point of parenting is to come to a point where you launch your child as an adult to honor the Lord on their own. Somewhere along the way our culture has missed that simple truth.

We are facing a crises of parenting in our culture. We are raising spoiled children who can’t accept responsibility for themselves. In our world everybody gets a trophy and everybody earns an “A” regardless of their level of talent or how hard they work. We are raising a whole generation of men and women who believe any shortcomings they may have are because they are victims of any number of a whole menu of societal ills. The problem with that is that life hasn’t, doesn’t and never will work that way. If our boys and girls are to become men and women we better help them understand that the number one cause of whatever they’re facing in life is staring back at them in the mirror.

So let me encourage you. Give your kids room to explore and have adventures and fail, and then let them absorb their own consequences. Don’t rescue them when life is unfair, coach them through it. Don’t worry about straight A’s and all-star teams, life isn’t about that stuff. Rather than simply managing their behavior, teach them to think and reason and make decisions. Teach them to know who they are and encourage them to go and experience life rather than just letting it safely pass.

Remember, kids don’t need manufactured success as much as they need unconditional love on the journey.

If you’re a parent or a grandparent let me encourage you today to go to www.biblegateway.com and look up James 1:10-11 in The Message. Then read Ecclesiastes Chapter 9 and let those thoughts impact your parenting.   

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