Scott’s Blog

There are a few things that I’ve said to my sons thousands of times. They are the things that represent the philosophy of life that I have come to live by. They are simple things, however they become very profound as one realizes the depth of their meaning. Almost every time one of my guys leaves the house whether it be to go to school or out with friends or to compete athletically I have said the simple phrase “Be who you are.” In a nutshell it means that we are not free to live authentically, to live genuinely until we understand that we have been fashioned by a sovereign Lord with exquisite intention and purpose. A key task of life is to uncover the glory of God as He has expressed it in our unique design.  It is blasphemous to try to be something you aren’t, to pretend that God’s design and purpose is somehow flawed.

The second phrase modifies the first and provides context for it. The two were often spoken in tandem and it is simply “Remember to whom you belong.” My life is not my own. It was given as a gift and it has a purpose. My purpose is to enjoy God first knowing that as I enjoy God in every circumstance his glory will be evident in me. Knowing that I am owned stokes my passion to know my owner and reminds me that I am responsible to Him for my every moment. If my life is only the pursuit of “finding myself” I reduce my experience to an egocentric experiment of tiny proportions. When I realize that the meaning and purpose of life comes from outside of myself I begin to understand how freeing and joyful “being who I am” really is.

The last phrase is simply this: “Life is a journey.” I hope my sons never look at life as a destination. Life is not getting married or finding the dream  job, or building the house or retiring. Those are all potential key moments, defining moments, if you will in the journey, but they are not life. Defining moments help us understand who we are and who God is, but they are merely sign posts along the journey.

These three phrases are an anchor for me when my life is in transition. A few weeks ago we celebrated with Seth as he accepted his high school diploma. We’re excited with him as he enters a new chapter of life. He’s going to start by studying engineering at Wilkes University. He’s going to keep playing football and will probably participate in Air Force ROTC. From what know right now about how God has framed Seth that is a good start. I don’t know if Seth will be an engineer, but the journey of study will make more clear to him all that God has wired into him. I marked Seth’s graduation with a letter explaining that he is now launched. He’s moving to a new relationship where Bren and I will be advisers to him and we will enjoy friendship with him. We will support and encourage and cheer him on, but he is not responsible to us any longer. He is accountable to us, but he is responsible to God alone. He does not represent Brenda and I, he is free from that, he represents God alone. Be who you are, remember to whom you belong.

You will remember four months ago Jake, our oldest, went off to the Navy. He was a special operations recruit training to be a Navy Seal. He was doing well and made it through a particularly grueling special ops boot camp. However, a body scan and other tests that special operations recruits have to go through revealed a very small kidney stone. Jake learned he was disqualified medically and would have to separate from the Navy. He’s spent the last three weeks processing out and will be home tomorrow. We’re excited to see him and he’s excited to come home. But he’s also disappointed. This isn’t what he planned. That’s okay because life is a journey, not a destination.  This experience will help Jake realize who he is, and he’ll learn more about the One who owns him. He’s already learned that God’s Word will sustain you when you don’t think you can keep going. That alone is worth the experience.

Be who you are; remember to whom you belong; life is a journey. You can live by those words.

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One of the authors I appreciate is John Piper. I read a lot of his work and I particularly appreciate the book called “A Godward Life.” It is written in short chapters and I tend to read one chapter on most days. Today the Chapter was about Hebrews 4:16, which most of us know this way: “Let us the approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” It’s a cool verse. Piper translates it more literally like this: “Let us approach with boldness the throne of grace that we might receive mercy and find grace for a well - timed help.” See the difference? The common translation focuses on our need. The more literal translation focuses on God’s timing.

Sometimes when I think through the list of our EBC family members that are going through deep water I get very sad. We always have a lot of people that are dealing with very tough stuff. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. If you’re anything like me when you need help you want it now!

This little verse reminds me that God is not simply a God that grants help. He grants help at just the right time. There is a great value in our suffering. In suffering we we grow more than at any other time. Suffering is exercise. God’s promise to provide well timed help is perfect. He promises not to allow more than we can handle, ever.

The truth is you can do more than you think you can. You can handle more than you think you can. As your focus moves from self to God your ability to show grace through difficulties increases exponentially. My guess is that as you think back through your walk with God you’ll notice that God has not only been faithful to help, he has been faithful to help at just the right time (which is almost never the time you wanted it!).

So let’s relax as much as we can in our difficulties. God is relentlessly faithful, and his help is well timed. You can trust that.

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As most of you know my family embarked on a road trip to Great Lakes Illinois late last week to see Jake. He graduated from Navy boot camp where he’s been since early March. We had very limited contact with him for the past two months so it was wonderful to spend some time together as a family. We were unprepared for how emotional it would be to see him. We were really unprepared for how emotional it would be to leave him again. But that is the way of life. Parenting is about launching and sometimes launching is very difficult.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ride home was pretty quiet (except for my conversation with the Illinois State Trooper that wondered why I was speeding) and I was thinking about what Jake has been through. He entered the Navy on a Seal contract, which is by far the most rigorous program available. He was in a special division with other special ops recruits and he grew pretty close to those guys as they went through the experience together. Two difficulties came up for Jake that made his experience trying. First, he was thirty seconds too slow on the long run to meet SEAL standards. While he was more than fast enough for all other special ops programs the SEAL time was just beyond his reach. That meant that while other guys in his division got to rest he had to keep doing long runs hoping to meet the time. Every time he came up short the pressure got worse. Secondly he found out that he has some calcification in his left kidney that may predispose him to kidney stones, which would disqualify him from special ops. When Jake tried to re-classify to another special ops program he was not permitted. It was SEAL or out of the special ops division entirely. On the last day of boot camp for his division Jake was transferred out to another division of regular Navy recruits. The change was very difficult. Additionally he was not given choice as to what his new job would be. The Navy told him he was going to become a medic because his test scores indicated he could do the training. To make matters worse, he is on “hold” at boot camp until a new class of medics begins. That means he’ll do whatever they tell him to do while living in boot camp barracks for as long as it takes.

You get the picture. I’m a dad, and my son is dealing with failure, loneliness, stress and frustration. He has to deal with it alone because we can’t have regular contact with him.

The good news is this. Jake is OK. He’s not jumping up and down, but he’s OK. Jake understands that life is a journey full of detours. He knows that nothing that really matters about him is at stake. He knows that control is a myth and his job is to choose to respond well, with truth. Jake knows that happiness depends on knowing who he is and from where his identity comes. The truth is that every day when he wakes up, even in these circumstances, his toughest problem has been solved. He is free to experience the day regardless of what the day may hold. He knows that God is in control and He is laying the foundation for what comes.

Jake learned how to be happy when he learned that happiness can’t depend on circumstances. Happiness has got to depend on something outside of yourself that isn’t subject to the whims of any man. Your only option for lasting joy, happiness and contentment is your walk with God.

Parents, teach your kids to be happy.

Update Friday May 9: For those of you that want to know of Jake’s progress. He was able to call last night. He learned this week that the calcification of his kidney disqualifies him for any job in the Navy. Apparently there was a paperwork snafu in the medical office in that Jake actually shouldn’t have been given a contract in the first place. It’s hard to know how he only found out about this after completing boot camp, but sometimes things happen that way. Since Jake is contracted he has to go through a process to potentially waive the medical issue so he can stay in the Navy (at least that is what they say right now). He needs a urologist to do that process. Unfortunately the Urologist is on leave until June. Jake is set to see him on June 3rd. Between now and then Jake will have to wait at boot camp in a temporary hold unit. If he gets the waiver he will move on to medic school and stay in the Navy. If he does not get the waiver he will be separated from the Navy. I’m thankful that Jake knows how to be happy. I’m profoundly grateful for a relentlessly faithful God that is worthy of happiness in all circumstances.

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EBC has been on a great ride. By God’s grace our church family has more than doubled in the past several years. This year on Easter we had more than 800 people in attendance. People are coming to a saving relationship with Jesus and growing in him. All of that is super. However, it would be a great mistake to assume that somehow we’ve “arrived” as a church. In fact, all we’ve been doing so far is building a foundation from which to ramp up our efforts at “honoring God by moving people from mere belief in God to a passionate relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.”

We have some new mountains to climb together if we’re going to enjoy increased and ongoing fruit for God’s glory. Our elders have spent the last few months praying and thinking through what our key objectives need to be as we move forward.

While this process is still very much in motion, a few things are bubbling to the top. First we need to do a much better job at moving people along toward Christ-like maturity. That means several things from becoming a more welcoming church for those who come investigating the faith to completely redesigning our adult education so that there are effective options for everyone to move forward through learning. It also means that we have to ramp up our small groups so that everyone who desires to be in a small group has that opportunity. We’ve gotten some good advice encouraging us to establish baby steps for those who are unchurched so they don’t feel overwhelmed trying to assimilate into established groups and classes.

The other key area that seems to be bubbling to the surface is our stewardship. We have a mortgage on our facility and our elders are working through what it would mean for us to be a debt free, faith dependent body. How do we become debt free while maintaining our facility and expanding ministry? What a great mountain to climb!

These are exciting times at the Chapel. God has been so very gracious to us in allowing us fruitful ministry for Him. But  we are just getting started! Our church family needs to grapple with what our next key objectives need to be and then work together to accomplish them for God’s glory.  I’m excited about the opportunity to move forward for the cause. I hope you’ll pray and participate in the discussion with us, and then roll up your sleeves and put your shoulder to the plow.

I believe with all my heart that the best days for EBC are yet ahead. Yeah God!

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That sounds like a weird title for a blog when I talk so much about trust and the fact that all leadership is based on trust, which I still believe is true. However, we live in a culture that is justifiably cynical. Last week the New York Governor, the guy who based his reputation on cleaning up corruption, lost his seat because he had a habit of spending tremendous amounts of money on prostitutes. I read with interest about the Lt. Governor who was to take his place. David Patterson was a bright, energetic leader who overcame blindness to rise to the cream of the political crop. However, he hasn’t been in office a week yet and is already admitting that he has had affairs with several women. Sheesh. Then there is the former Governor of New Jersey who is making the news today because he and his male partner are sharing public details of their sexual trysts which they say included the Governors former wife.

No wonder we’ve become a cynical culture. Evangelical leaders fall regularly, political leaders fall what seems like all the time. Really it shouldn’t surprise us. People are fallen and will do any and everything they shouldn’t. Expect it.

When I was working with Bernie May at The Seed Company he was working with our Board of Directors on a transition plan to find his replacement. I remember the Board asking at one point if he trusted them. Very respectfully he said that he didn’t trust them. However, he DID trust God, and The Seed Company belonged to Him.

That made an impact on me and I’ve made changes in how I view leaders since then. I don’t have high expectations of people because they’re people. I appreciate them and I love when God does neat things through them. However, when they fail or fall, I’m not surprised or shaken because fallen people will do fallen things.

Don’t expect people to be more than people. Help your kids understand that because they’re going to see a lot of influential people fall. However, the great news is that you can expect God to be all God. He will never change and will always be faithful. That is really good news.

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Today is the day that Jake leaves to begin his Navy career. An officer will be coming to the house this afternoon to take him to boot camp. It’s tough to say good-bye. A little snippet from my journal this morning says this: “I have a weird mix of feelings. I’m excited for him. He needs to leave and build his own life and that is a good thing. Yet, sometimes I look at him and see the boy that grew up with us. Other times I see the man that has become my friend that won’t be around very much any more. Sometimes I get very sad, other times I’m proud. I  guess that is the way its supposed to be.”  Like a lot families we’ve been very close. The moving around we’ve done and our time in Mexico brought us together in a way that is hard to describe. It’s not unusual for us to sit at the dinner table for an hour or two after we’ve finished eating just talking and laughing. It’s been great. This process isn’t entirely new to us. Jake moved to

Minnesota out of high school where he studied academics and played football. He enjoyed that experience and it was a great journey of self-discovery but the classroom is not an energizing place for Jake. While he did well, he’s more of a hands on kind of guy. He’s been attracted to the military for as long as I can remember so he decided to finish his degree in the Navy.

It has occurred to me over these last several weeks that while Bren and I certainly messed up a lot in our parenting, we did get at least one thing right. We were honest with the boys that the day by day nature of our relationship with them is temporary. The permanent relationship in our house is between Bren and I. Parenting is not about all the things that tend to consume our energy while the kids are home. Parenting is about launching. Parenting is an outcome based process. The point of parenting is to come to a point where you launch your child as an adult to honor the Lord on their own. Somewhere along the way our culture has missed that simple truth.

We are facing a crises of parenting in our culture. We are raising spoiled children who can’t accept responsibility for themselves. In our world everybody gets a trophy and everybody earns an “A” regardless of their level of talent or how hard they work. We are raising a whole generation of men and women who believe any shortcomings they may have are because they are victims of any number of a whole menu of societal ills. The problem with that is that life hasn’t, doesn’t and never will work that way. If our boys and girls are to become men and women we better help them understand that the number one cause of whatever they’re facing in life is staring back at them in the mirror.

So let me encourage you. Give your kids room to explore and have adventures and fail, and then let them absorb their own consequences. Don’t rescue them when life is unfair, coach them through it. Don’t worry about straight A’s and all-star teams, life isn’t about that stuff. Rather than simply managing their behavior, teach them to think and reason and make decisions. Teach them to know who they are and encourage them to go and experience life rather than just letting it safely pass.

Remember, kids don’t need manufactured success as much as they need unconditional love on the journey.

If you’re a parent or a grandparent let me encourage you today to go to www.biblegateway.com and look up James 1:10-11 in The Message. Then read Ecclesiastes Chapter 9 and let those thoughts impact your parenting.   

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It has been too long since I’ve blogged. There are a couple of reasons for that. Normally I blog in the evenings in the living room with my laptop on my lap while my family does whatever we’re doing that evening. With Jake leaving in a few days for the Navy we’ve been savoring those moments and I just didn’t feel right about pulling out the lap top. That’s not the only reason however. I’ve been stuck.

Let me explain. The elders are working through a book called “Measure of A Man.” It is a study that works through what being a godly man looks like. We meet at 5:15 on Thursday mornings and we share with each other, talk about what we’re learning and pray for one another. About three weeks ago the topic was on being a moral man and we were talking about Philippians 4:8. Its an obvious verse for morality and that isn’t what has me stuck. What has me stuck is the fact that the verse is about so much more than simply morality. The verse is a foundation for the thought life of a Christ follower. Here is what Paul says: “Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” I’ve read that verse hundreds of times and I’ve prayed through it. I’ve used in parenting too. I can remember one of my boys bringing a Happy Meal toy to me and asking if it was OK to play with. We read Philippians 4:8 together and I asked him if that toy would help him keep is mind focused. He said no and that was that. It’s a big verse. However I’ve never thought of it at the depth that I’ve been thinking through it now. I’ve been taking it apart and analyzing my whole life around it, not just sections like before.  I tend to be a critical thinker. I’m always looking at what is happening and asking what could be better. I’m an evaluator. That is part of my job and it isn’t a bad thing. But when I allow my ability to think strategically and critically to become how I approach life in general it slows down the formation of Christ in me because it moves me away from the directive of Philippians 4:8.

I share this with you because you may be like me in this area. I can employ my gift of strategic and critical thinking for God’s glory by doing it as a task for the maturity of his church. However I can’t allow my identity to become critical or I begin to sink toward negativity. Negativity does not honor Christ.

There has been a change in me since I’ve been stuck on this verse. I’m different at home with my family, I’m catching myself when I start to evaluate something that isn’t mine to evaluate. I’ve been celebrating things hundreds of times every day. I’m seeing beauty and enjoying it. And, hopefully I’ve given God something to be pleased about in me.

Dwell on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and worthy of praise.

Life changing. Yeah God.

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Sometimes leadership requires unpopular stands. About five years ago the elders were trying to change the focus of our church family from how we do church to the God that church is about. We felt we had to raise the value of worship so that we were more focused on actually worshiping God than how we worship God.

As a part of that effort we made an intentional decision to stop singing purely patriotic songs in worship. When a church family comes before God to worship, it should not then take a break from celebrating God to start celebrating man. We felt that there were times when we did just that. The point was not that Christians should not get together and celebrate their civic heritage. The point was when the family of God gathers during its worship time, it should worship. It was a matter of raising the value of the most important thing, at the expense of the less important thing. One of the hardest things about any kind of leadership from parenting to being a CEO of a large corporation is saying no to some very worthwhile and important things so you can say yes to the most important things.

That decision became one of the most controversial issues we’ve faced. People were passionate about it. Some genuinely saw their Christianity as a part of their civic pride.

The other way this issue manifests itself is when Christians want to rally around a particular political issue in an effort to reform or “Christianize” the culture.

There is nothing uniquely American about being a Christ follower. Certainly we are thrilled that we enjoy freedoms to worship as we will and we do thank God for that. However, that is different than celebrating our civic past as a break in the worship of God. As a church family, our focus is on one very narrow thing… moving people toward a passionate relationship with God. To whatever degree we allow ourselves to do other things we will dilute the purpose around which we exist.

It is also true that the central purpose of the church is not culture reform, its not to get everybody acting like they’re a Christian. The central purpose of the church is heart reform.

America is temporary, every human heart is eternal. The Christians in the New Testament were tortured for sport. It was illegal to be a Christian. Yet they were never encouraged to use their citizenship to work for reforms that would make the culture more favorable to their faith. The example of Jesus is the same thing. Never did he teach a gospel of culture reform. In fact, over the last two millennia the church has been most successful in cultures that were on the decline. Even today the most rapidly growing regions of the Bride of Christ are those places where following Christ is frowned upon or illegal.

Having said that, the church simply being the church will produce Christ followers that are the salt of the earth. Those Christians will have a defining impact on their culture. Take some time and read the biography of William Wilberforce as one example. And, while the church should not be primarily concerned about cultural reform, it is the job of the church to speak out in grace and love where the Bible speaks out. The sanctity of life and the treatment of the weak and oppressed are two examples where we should lead in truth and grace. 

As Christ followers let’s be model citizens and work for the betterment of our communities. Let’s do that work humbly and with a spirit of servant hood for God’s glory. Let’s remember that our real citizenship is not on earth, it’s in heaven, and that Kingdom will reign forever.

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Dr. Gil Peterson was the president of Lancaster Bible College while I was a student there. We struck a relationship and Gil became my mentor. We’ve stayed in touch through the years. He has been one of the people that I can count on to tell me the truth no matter what. There was one thing about Gil that taught me more than his leadership of the college. Gil’s wife was diagnosed with MS. Her illness was a problem. She couldn’t travel with him on speaking trips very often. Mostly confined to a wheel chair, Dolores was a brilliant lady who needed to be taken care of. I remember wondering why God would allow this couple to be hampered by such a debilitating illness. It seemed to me that it cost so much time and effort that could have been used in other very productive ways. It was a moment by moment, day by day consideration for them. Several years ago Gil went through a series of medical issues himself. After a pretty extensive back surgery Bren and I made the trip to their home in Lancaster to take a meal to them and try to encourage them. While we shared lunch Dolores was talking about her work with others that walk through being diagnosed with MS. She shared that one of the first questions is always; “Why me?” In her own inimitable way she normally responded by simply saying; “Why not you?”

In the years since that lunch I’ve had many people ask the same question; “Why me?” While I never say it, I often think of Dolores’s simple response.  For some reason we tend to think that because we are Christians we should be protected from tragedy. The Bible never gives us that expectation. Christ followers in the Bible are not presented in idyllic circumstances by far. Nevertheless our surprise and frustration at suffering tends to surprise us.

The truth is that being in Christ doesn’t remove us from the junk that comes with living in a sinful world. God does make us new and he saves us in the world, not from it. As I write this we are dealing with a few weeks of higher than normal suffering in our church family. There are lots of issues; financial struggles, lots and lots of health issues, marriage crises, you name it. Many of the issues feel pretty serious. They are the kinds of things that have the potential to change the trajectory of the lives involved.

Yeah God.

 Yep, yeah God. Suffering provides a unique opportunity for us to show off the extraordinary attractivenss of God. Suffering gives us credibility with other sufferers. Suffering forces us to refocus on what is most important, what is eternal.

One time when Jesus was walking with his disciples they came across a blind man. The disciples wanted to know if he was blind because he had sinned or perhaps because his parents had sinned. Jesus was pretty quick with his response. “He was born blind so the power of God could be seen through him.”

Interesting. The guy’s suffering was not about him. It was about God and his faithfulness. Next time my plans are diverted by a crises, mine or someone else’s, I hope I can remember that. I don’t want to blow it the next time God orchestrates an opportunity to show his brilliance through tough stuff.  

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Proverbs 16:9 says this: We can make our plans,but the Lord determines our steps. It’s one of those understatement passages. You know what I mean by that, it is so obvious that it almost goes without saying. There is, however a problem with understatement passages… we usually don’t live like they’re so obvious, at least I don’t.

Let me explain. I admit I can go a bit overboard with planning. I plan my day very carefully. I know how long it will take to do the tasks that I have to do and I work out ahead of time how that should go. Even though the plan often goes awry it makes me feel organized and in control. That in control part is the problem.

Christmas week is busy and this Christmas week was busier. We had our normal duties, but we also had extra Christmas services and a funeral. Given the holiday we had less time to do more. A planners perfect storm!

Last weekend, on two successive morning’s I woke up with pain in my back. I didn’t think much of it and it went away. On Christmas morning the pain returned, more severe and lasting a bit longer, but still, it went away after a bit. I began to think I might have a kidney stone. We enjoyed Christmas as a family, I went to work on Wednesday and everything seemed fine. On Thursday morning I was in my office at about 5:00 AM working on a funeral message for a very special funeral coming up on Friday. At 5:15 our elders met for our weekly accountability and prayer time. I had the pain again, fairly severe, but nothing that would stop my plans. I shared with the guys and we prayed. As we prayed the pain got worse. As everyone left to go about their day I returned to my keyboard to write. I couldn’t. The pain was too intense to concentrate. I thought perhaps if I walked around a bit, but that didn’t help either. I was frustrated because I had some appointments and I needed to get the writing finished before the appointments. No way. By 7:30 I was in the car on my way to the emergency room. By 8:00 I had blood drawn, was waiting for a CAT scan, and was enjoying the wonderful euphoria of greatly reduced pain thanks to an IV in my hand. Sure enough the CAT scan revealed a stone that was only beginning to make it’s journey. The urologist told me that we’d give it a week to pass on its own, then schedule some other things to intervene if necessary. He told me he’d give me medicine that would take the edge off the pain and we’d just wait. “You’ll have to hold your schedule loosely, because when the pain comes you really won’t be able to do anything.” He was right about that. I spent the next day and a half in a drug induced stupor, walking around when I needed to, just hoping the whole thing would go away. Dave, Nikki and Colleen managed the funeral without me, and as I sit here typing, Dave is preaching and I’m just waiting. The episodes of pain are very far apart now, and I’m not drugged very much. I’m told the stone could be “stuck somewhere” or perhaps even that it is breaking up on its own (that would be nice). On Thursday they’ll take another picture and we’ll go from there. Kidney stones are no big deal. They aren’t really dangerous, they hurt a whole lot but for the most they are mostly inconvenient.

What bugs me is the truth of Proverbs 16:9. I’m happy to have the Lord derail my plans. He owns me and he can do anything he wants with me. What bothers me is that I keep trying to manage how the Lord derails my plans. I keep trying to manage because I’m proud. I don’t want to take sick time. I don’t want to let the staff down and cause extra work. I don’t want Dave to have to add sermon prep and delivery to his already too busy schedule because I’m too weak to do it. What I’m learning from a kidney stone is not that I need to plan less. I’m learning that I need to manage my image less. I’m learning I’m a pretty proud guy who draws too much personal worth from doing his job and not enough from just being who I am in Christ for His glory.

If I’ve said it once, I’m sure I’ve said it a thousand times. You can try and impress people with you, or you can impress them with the Jesus in you, but you can never do both.  

I wish I’d learn that already.

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